A quick note on confidence

Ever had one of those moments when you are watching your role model on the television thinking ‘I wish I had the confidence to do what he/she is doing’?

I have a question for you. What makes you think you can’t or you are incapable? Sometimes we do not have the same opportunities as other people. Sometimes we think other people are just born confident while others are not. The truth is, you have led yourself to believe that way and now it is time to change the way you think in order to start building your self-confidence.

In order to do this, we need to start eliminating our limiting belief (there will be a whole blog post on limiting beliefs in future). In short, limiting beliefs are things that we believe in, that do not serve us. We develop limiting beliefs by our experiences, education, fear, other people, faulty logic... The list goes on. However, in order to start building our confidence we need to work on changing our belief systems in a way that serves us.

Replace the following left with the following on the right:

I can’t – I can, I will

I shouldn’t – I should

I don’t know – I will find out

I must not believe that – I will believe that

Do this with every negative thought or saying you think and say to yourself. It is important to change our language and how we talk and treat ourselves; after all, you can either be your worse critique or your own best cheerleader that empowers you.

Think of your best friend or someone you love and care about, what advice would you give them if they lacked confidence or self-esteem? What type of person would you be to them? What would they say to you in this situation? Does their opinion matter to you? How much does it matter to you? Enough to take that lead of faith?

Ask yourself, why are you trying to build confidence in first place? Is it so you can learn public speaking and speak in front of a crowd without fear of judgement? Is it, to get a partner and be in a loving relationship or perhaps a better job? Whatever the reason, do not forget the reason WHY you want something, this should motivate you to push through fear. One of my favourite quotes is “Feel the fear and do it anyway” – Susan Jeffers.

Another way to build confidence is to act ‘as if’. One of the greatest tool that I was taught in coaching school was to act as if I was already successful, act as if I am the best coach in the world, act as if you have everything you ever wanted. How does that feel when you act ‘as if’ if you are confident and you picture yourself overcoming fears? It feels amazing doesn’t it? It gives you that rush to want to do it again, and maybe this time instead of practicing public speaking to a small group you speak to a bigger group, soon enough with practice, patience and perseverance you will have that confidence; and in no time want to pursue more things that build up your confidence.

Once you start working on all these thing mentioned in this blog post, I guarantee you that you will see a shift in your confidence levels. Please leave me a comment down below on any other tips and tricks, thought on how to gain confidence. Tell me your story; I would love to hear from you all.